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Chapter Three
At Odds
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Lonely is not being alone, it’s the feeling that no one cares.
Kalevi didn’t tell his brother about the late-night visitor. He didn’t tell Eli about most of the problems he faced. Hell, if the roof caved in, he would make a damn good attempt at fixing it first before ever involving his little brother. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Eli could handle it or that he wasn’t mature enough. That wasn’t it.
The fact was Kalevi was trying to be the parent he never had. Kids shouldn’t have to worry about money or electricity bills. Sure, Eli was a teenager now. He even had a part time job at a café, but he should be using the money he got from his job to buy stupid shit like computer games and shoes. He shouldn’t be worrying about if they could put food on the table. That was Kalevi’s duty. Kalevi might not have come to much, but he was sure as fuck going to protect Eli better than any adult ever had.
Even so, the arrival of Ben Fletcher did worry him. He didn’t want that asshole turning up at Eli’s school. He doubted the man would. Shifters were incredibly private. Turning up at a high school would be massively overstepping the boundary. Causing a public scene was the last thing anyone wanted. Still…
It was bizarre that they wanted to be involved at all. Normally it took a major event for shifter society to investigate their own. The only thing he could think of would be if Eli had been seen partly shifting in public but that usually resulted in an official warning. To outright send someone to the damn house was ridiculous.
It was worrying to think that something might have happened, and Eli hadn’t told him.
Kalevi knew he hadn’t been around much. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with his little brother, it’s just that he had to work. Kal had dragged himself to bed and tried not to think about it. In the morning, he texted Eli to check up on him. His little brother texted back with a short and curt “fine.” He was a teenager.
It probably wasn’t considered cool to be constantly texting his older brother. Kalevi forced down some food without even really noticing what it was before heading out the door for work. The day was almost normal. Nothing miraculous happened and thankfully, no shifters turned up.
He carefully looked through the banking app on his phone. If he put off the electricity bill for another couple of days until he got paid from his second job, he would be able to pick up a few groceries. They really needed some meat. He could usually buy chicken drumsticks or wings cheaply if he got them in bulk. The thought of a hot meal that wasn’t soup was enough to put the slightest of spring in his step.
He was dirt tired but he had no night shift tonight so he would be able to catch up on some sleep. He ignored the sharp little whisper that told him he spent his existence either asleep or at work. The cat inside him rebelled against every constraint he’d placed on himself. He felt as though he was being forced to squeeze through a thin rubber tube. He couldn’t think about his own future without his chest compressing down on his lungs.
He ignored the crowd of people as he shoved his way through the peak hour foot traffic. He wanted to get his groceries and go home. His good mood vanished in a heartbeat as he caught sight of two people outside his front door. One was Eli. The other was that damn shifter from the other night. He nearly dropped his bag of groceries.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Kalevi snarled, marching towards them.
Eli flushed. ‘Kal, don’t be weird,’ he hissed.
Ben Fletcher smiled. ‘I was just meeting your brother. I was just asking if he needed any support.’
‘We don’t need the council’s help with anything,’ Kal snapped.
‘Kal, Ben said they could help with the bills. You wouldn’t have to work so many hours,’ Eli said nervously.
Kalevi’s eyes narrowed. ‘And the council would do this out of the kindness of their hearts, no strings attached?’
‘No,’ Ben replied simply. ‘The council want to help support the health and wellbeing of those shifters in the community. You will need to attend counselling and community service-‘
‘Community service!? We aren’t criminals!’ Kalevi shouted.
Eli looked around nervously. ‘Maybe we should continue this inside?’ he began.
‘No. He’s not welcome in our house,’ Kal barked.
‘He is if I invite him in,’ Eli growled. The two brothers glared at each other.
‘Eli, no. You owe the council once; they own you for life.’
‘That’s what this is about? How much freedom do you feel you have now?’ Ben asked curiously.
‘What we have, we fucking earned.’
‘Even though you can barely keep the lights on? Even though your brother can barely hold together his shifting?’ Ben shot back.
Kalevi froze. ‘Eli, what is he talking about?’
A range of expressions flicked across his brother’s face. Guilt, worry, anger, indignation. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does,’ Ben said softly. ‘And we can help you.’
‘We don’t need your help. Get inside the house Eli,’ Kal snapped.
‘What? Kal-‘
‘Now Eli.’ His brother was shaking, anger overtaking worry. He turned and charged inside, slamming the door behind him with enough force to rattle the frame.
‘And you, stay the hell away from my brother,’ Kal swung around and froze as he saw how much closer Ben had gotten.
‘Kalevi, I know you don’t believe so, but I am trying to help. If you don’t want to talk to me, then other steps will need to be taken.’
‘Are you threatening me?’
‘We don’t want to remove your brother from your care, but we can’t have him shifting in public.’
‘He hasn’t,’ Kalevi said, his stomach churning.
‘It’s clear that you need to have a conversation with your brother. I’ll give you today. Tomorrow, after school, myself and a colleague will come to have a proper talk with you both to see what we can do to reconcile this.’
‘I’m working,’ Kal hissed.
‘Then find someone to cover your shift. We will be here Kalevi, with or without you. I would suggest it would be in your best interest for you to be here as well.’ Ben Fletcher walked away. Kalevi stalked inside and slammed the front door just as hard as his brother had.
‘Eli, what the hell was that guy talking about?’
Eli’s expression was sulky. ‘Nothing.’
‘What happened?’
‘Nothing!’
‘Eli, this is really important.’
His brother huffed angrily. ‘Nothing happened, okay? It was stupid.’
‘What was stupid?’ Kalevi pushed.
Eli threw his hands up. ‘I just got into an argument with Justin. We’re already over it.’
‘Did you shift?’
‘What? No!’
‘Not even partially?’ Kal barked.
Eli hesitated. ‘Eli?’
‘I don’t know! Maybe. It wouldn’t have been for longer than a second.’
‘Why didn’t you talk to me?’
‘Because you’re never around!’ Eli exploded. ‘What was I supposed to say? It happened. It’s no big deal!’
‘Eli, they could split us up for this,’ Kalevi said softly.
Eli stared at him, his eyes slightly bloodshot. ‘Maybe that’s a good thing.’
Kalevi felt as though the bottom of his stomach had been ripped away. His heart clenched and he looked at his brother without breathing. ‘You can’t mean that.’
Eli squeezed his eyes shut. ‘You’re always working. You don’t have a life. This way you could.’ Kalevi stepped in and pulled his little brother in for a hug that could have cracked ribs.
‘That’s not true. I have a life, Eli. It’s my job to keep you safe.’
‘I’m not a little kid anymore,’ Eli muttered weakly.
‘I know that. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to look after you. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, cub.’ Kal buried his face in his brother’s soft hair, breathing in his clean scent. He heard Eli swallow heavily.
‘I’m sorry,’ Eli rasped.
Kal squeezed him again, feeling claws grip into his own shirt. How stupid he had been to not notice that Eli had been slipping. Just how long had Eli been struggling with his shifting?
‘It’s okay. Just talk to me next time. I’m not going to get angry.’ Kalevi tried to catch his brother’s eye. Something flickered across Eli’s face. It was gone quickly but it left an impression. Guilt and worry writhed inside Kal’s ribcage.
‘Then you’ll come to this meeting tomorrow?’ Eli asked, his tone oddly harsh.
Kalevi winced. This wasn’t a side of the argument he was going to win. Besides, this was now bigger than the both of them and he wasn’t going to let those vultures talk to his brother without him being there. ‘Yeah, Eli. I’ll be there.’ His little brother looked faintly surprised. Fuck, that hurt too.
‘What about work?’ Eli challenged.
‘You’re more important.’ Looked like he was going to have to call around to get his shift covered. It was just one shift… and he was going to have to cut into their food budget again. It was worth it for the small smile his brother gave him. Gods. When was the last time Kalevi smiled?
‘Do you have homework?’
‘Oh, come on!’ Eli whined.
Kal raised an eyebrow. ‘Get to it,’ he ordered.
His brother slouched away, grumbling. Kal sighed and pulled out his phone to start making calls.
—
The tension was nearly thick enough to cut with a knife. Kalevi and Eli sat on one side of the stained table whilst Ben and a massive man who had been introduced as Vano sat on the other. Not for the first or even the hundredth time, Kalevi wished it was him that had inherited the jaguar blood instead of the cats’.
‘I’m glad you agreed to see us,’ Ben said politely.
Kalevi fought back a derisive snort. ‘You didn’t word it as though we had much choice,’ he said flatly. Eli shot him a warning look.
‘Forgive my brother. He’s not much of a people person,’ Eli growled.
‘We understand.’ There was a thick file that had been placed on the table. The sight of it made Kalevi unreasonably angry. They just… had a file on him and his little brother. Hell, it likely contained information on his parents too. Their whole lives, contained in that one manila folder.
‘We appreciate you taking the time out of your days. We really wanted to meet you both. As I said yesterday, we really just want to come to the best arrangement that keeps everyone safe. It’s not our goal to try and split you up.’ Kal’s eyes narrowed in a look that was very much “just you fucking try.” Eli nudged his leg under the table.
‘So, you’re just here to check up on us?’ Eli asked sceptically.
The two older shifters exchanged a look Kal didn’t like. ‘We’ve actually been keeping an eye on you both for a while. It’s standard procedure after what happened. There is no way to sugar coat this, nor should there be. You’ve both been through hell. Your family slipped under the radar for over decade. The elders aren’t proud of that.’
The words “no shit Sherlock” were fighting hard to escape Kalevi’s mouth. He had to grit his teeth until he thought his canines might crack.
‘We are to present you with an offer for shifter support.’
‘We don’t need it,’ Kalevi said automatically. Eli was frowning again. Kal couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or confusion. Maybe a bit of both.
‘You do.’ This deep rumbling voice came from Vano. It was the first time the large man had spoken.
‘It was just one incident! Eli’s young-’
‘But it’s not been just one incident and it hasn’t just been your brother,’ Ben said, cutting across him. Kal felt himself flush in indignation. He could feel Eli staring at him, apparently dumbstruck.
‘I have never shifted in public!’ Kalevi snapped. At least… not where any human would see him.
‘A partial shift is still a serious thing. You’re tired, Kalevi. No one is blaming you for any of this.’ Kal could feel his control slipping again. He did not like others telling what he was and wasn’t. He especially didn’t like being told how he felt. Eli must have sensed the impending explosion because he quickly asked, ‘So what are you offering?’
‘A mentorship.’
‘What?! That bullshit is for pups and cubs just entering grade school!’ Kalevi barked.
Vano met his gaze calmly. ‘Support that you and your brother were never given,’ he said in his deep voice.
Eli was looking puzzled again. ‘And what do these mentors do exactly?’
‘Teach you about shifter law, about your species specifically and how to control your shifts. It provides you with a bonding experience.’
‘Hey. No one is bonding with my brother. I know what that means,’ Kal snarled.
‘Don’t you think Eli is old enough to make that decision himself?’ Ben asked softly.
Kal first instinct was to shout “No!” as loud as he fucking could but one glance at his little brother’s darkening expression told him that wouldn’t end well. Instead, he bit his tongue. He tasted blood almost immediately.
‘Do we get to pick our mentor?’ Eli asked, ignoring his fuming sibling.
‘You will…’ Ben began slowly. His eyes flicked to Kalevi. ‘Your brother has been assigned mentors. Unfortunately, as an adult, Kal is very… set in his habits. This is, of course, natural but all the same. The elders felt he required special handling.’
Kalevi’s claws were cutting into his palms. His spine was starting to ache as the cat part of his brain wanted to sprout a tail and four paws and leg it from this batshit crazy meeting. What insane thing had he eaten last night to cause this hallucination? Why did life hate him so fucking much?
‘And if I don’t agree to these handlers?’ Kalevi asked, his voice at a deadly soft pitch. His little brother actually looked rather nervous.
‘I’m afraid that isn’t an option at this point.’
‘And who are the fools dumb enough to assign themselves as my carers?’ Kal asked softly, already able to guess the answer.
Ben gave him a gentle smile. ‘We are.’
‘Kal,’ Eli whimpered, placing a hand on his brother’s arm. Kal knew that his eyes were bleeding yellow orange, that his human feature were struggling to stay in place. He began to rise slowly from the table, blood smearing the surface as he pressed his bleeding palms to its surface.
‘Kal, I want to try this. Please?’ This stopped the rage before it could fully overwhelm Kalevi. He looked back at Eli, his heart sinking.
‘We… we hardly know any shifters. Aren’t you even a bit curious?’ No. No, he wasn’t. Shifters were scum. Humans were scum. Everyone wanted to do what they could to make their own lives better and fuck everyone else. It was easier and quieter for the elder to ignore what was happening to Eli’s family. Kalevi and his brother were better off on their own. But…
‘You really want this?’ His voice sounded choked even to his own ears.
Eli nodded hesitantly. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I do. We don’t… you don’t meet a lot of new people. Especially shifters. This could be good.’ This was going to be terrible, but Kal would do anything to keep his brother safe. He knew Eli probably thought he was doing him a favour. It was sweet really. The reality was Kalevi was just too broken to be with regular people anymore.
‘For how long?’ Kalevi asked, looking back at Ben.
‘It’s a performance-based program. I know you don’t trust us. That’s okay. We hope to earn that trust and help you both to heal.’
‘Don’t talk to me about healing,’ Kalevi hissed in a deadly whisper.
‘Kal,’ Eli said warningly.
‘No. That’s fair,’ Ben argued. ‘This is a lot to take in. Eli, I’ll leave you our card. When you’re ready, sometime this week you can use the usernames and passwords printed to access the website. It’s a bit like a social media app. You can read the credentials of the shifter you’ll be working with and pick who you like the sound of. From there we can arrange a meeting.’
‘Okay,’ Eli replied nervously.
‘Kal, we’ll begin next week. Alright?’ Kal couldn’t open his mouth. It was too full of blood. He just nodded woodenly. Everyone stood and Kal walked the two shifters to the door. He swallowed thickly
‘If I find out that you or anyone assigned to my brother hurts him or tries to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do…’ he took a menacing step towards them both and lowered his voice in case Eli was still close.
‘I do not give a fuck what you do to me. I’ve already lived through hell. I’ll bring you down with me. Got it?’
‘Loud and clear.’
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END
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